in search of the elusive one

a pointless but enlightening conversation on a dreary wednesday afternoon…

p.q: that time i went there i saw another malay guy

p.q: n this guy was wearing a suit so he's definitely in the business side

barren: wah corporate malay guy

barren: why is it so surprising to find corporate malay guys?

barren: lol

barren: i find it so rare and refreshing

p.q: yea

p.q: he LOOKED refreshing

p.q: haha

barren: lol

barren: tat time i had a meeting with a mediacorp sales guy

barren: malay also

barren: refreshing also

barren: lol

p.q: lol

p.q: i wonder how they're like in person

p.q: are they humorous? witty?

barren: i dunno, i hardly come across such species

barren: its almost like they're an urban legend

barren: *ponder

p.q: i know!

p.q: but i don't think i can be in a relationship with one?

p.q: actually im not sure

p.q: i think such men come with big ego

barren: or high standards

barren: which i don't think i can keep up with

barren: hiak2

at the risk of sounding racist (but how could we, we’re malays too!), this is really true for my friend, ms p.q. and i. we hardly come across corporatey malay guys, or at least the straight ones. I only noe of two, and yeah, their standards are damn high la.

Are they such an elusive specimen, that we’re not quite sure if they even exist? And single ones? Even harder to find!

And why are we so intimidated by the idea of a high-flying malay guy? More often than not, we’d assume that these men, especially the good-lookers, “won’t go for malay girls” and stereotype them as “sure wanna look for angmoh or chinese gf”.

Why ah?

Anyone care to refute our totally baseless assumptions? Or has evidence that the opposite is true?

happy bubbleday!

Yes, we’re officially ONE today!

Gosh, it just seemed like yesterday when bh, ph and I were chilling out at macs just lamenting about our lives. (errr… ok, that doesn’t sound too good)

But we were hardly sobbing. That’s the thing I love about my fellow hearties - we’re always laughing in our laments! And it was that very session that we started bubbling some ideas about our own space.

I loved that session, I loved our ideas and that motivated this very blog.

We started off as just the three of us, wondering, pondering and reflecting… Will we all find love and settle down in future? Well, we can never know what lies ahead for us, but it’s been a year and it’s definitely good to know that we’re not alone :)

Thank you all readers and contributors. Happy Holidays!




PS: Sorry hearties for disappearing. I just needed to get myself away from the world I knew for a while. So I did and now I’m back and feeling better. bh, you did an awesome job manning the blog all by yourself! *hugs

the one that was not meant to be

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

One of the first guys I met online & offline was someone who used the moniker “Armitage” on IRC. He was an extremely interesting person to chat with. At that time, I was a self-confessed IRC addict, would log on daily to chat.

Anyway, I was in my 2^nd year of JC while I chanced upon this guy “H”, he was at that time in his 2^nd year of Singapore Polytechnic and he was in the same course as one of my close friends. Apparently, he was a close friend of my friend’s “uncle” of the same age.

After my A levels, I pretty much did not work and the only odd job I had was shuttling to Boonlay to teach tuition to my cousin. I even introduced IRC to her and on nights when I slept over, we’d be giggling together while chatting on IRC. Of course she knew of my online friend and also got acquainted with him.

Back to the guy…I’ve never gotten any photo of him on IRC hence I don’t know how he looked like. We chatted on the phone and his voice was sooooo swoonsome…even my cousin says so. She actually went: Sis, his voice makes me melt! (LOL). Being THE GOOD GIRL who followed mommy’s rule of study first boys later, I never went out on dates. I’ve always projected myself as this fierce girl in sec sch and when I get to JC, hmmmm…there isn’t any guys interested I guess. And I’m very bad at lying…so I shall not even try.

Anyway…”H” asked me out and I’ve always politely declined him. I wasn’t so scared because I knew he was a real person…kinda 6 degrees of separation. However, one day an opportunity arises…there was this seminar regarding after A level options that I wanted to check out so when he asked me out, I told him…well…if you don’t mind following me to that seminar, then I’d meet you. He agreed instantaneously. The date was fixed and I refused to ride his bike so what we did was agreed to meet and go to City Hall via MRT. Now, I was torn as to which MRT I should meet him at…If I chose the one near my place…I’d probably bump into neighbours or something. I had wanted to meet at Woodlands MRT but decided against it because it was too crowded. Finally, I agreed to meet him at Marsiling MRT station.

While waiting for him, I realized I was being too brave…I never really know who he was and have no idea how he looked like…just that he was supposed to be 1.8m tall. Then I finally met ’H’ and we took the train all the way to City Hall. (He had apparently boarded the train from SP to Marsiling) ‘H’ wasn’t a looker. He was tall, lanky and dark skinned but he’s alright on the whole. Anyway, my good friend was already waiting over at City Hall.( I had planned it in such a way that it would turn out to be a double date with my friend and her boyfriend) What I hadn’t planned was my friend to be at loggerhead with her boyfriend and we met all the rest of the gang at that seminar!

What was supposed to be a date instead became a group dinner at First Muslim Noodles Shop at Far East Plaza. It was really laughable. Luckily, “H” hadn’t seemed to mind. And when it was time to go home after the dinner, I had opted to take the bus home instead of going to the train with the rest. So he sent me back home.

Anyway after that he asked me out again. Again I declined…knowing full well that I would not be able to lie to my mom (my mom is kinda strict you see).

So he retorted on the phone: You tak boleh jumpa ke tak nak jumpa? (You can't meet or don't want to meet?)

To which I replied: Tak boleh la…my mom. (Can't la...my mom)

Him: kenapa? (Why?)

Me: Mak dia ingat anak dia lawa sangat. (This mom thinks her daughter is so pretty)

Him: Lawa ape…. (Pretty what...)

Hahaha. His reply really cracks me up. But of course I didn’t meet him again. I accidentally met him on the train when I was going to my Aunt’s place. He looked pleasantly surprised but that was to be our last meeting.

When I finally joined my school after A level, where I had a lil bit of freedom…he happened to be attached already. Apparently to a plump girl too! I guess plump was his idea of a perfect girl hehe.

And the last I heard about him was that he was involved in a bike accident where he was the pillion to my friend’s uncle. May Allah bless his soul. He had by far been one of the nicer guys I’ve met whom I got to know through online. Of course it was an experience worth remembering and well I guess in a way…it was not meant to be.

Hmmm how’s that for a sappy ‘love’ story? *winks*

p/s: i noe it's always w.h who posts contributions but unfortunately, all my fellow hearties are on a hiatus right now. so that leaves me as the sole custodian of this blog (not for long i hope!) let's wish they'll come back soon, missing you ladies!!!

in the arms of an angel

I would rather have had
one breath of her hair
one kiss of her mouth
one touch of her hand
than an eternity without it.
One.
               city of angels

love the show and ost but hate the ending nevertheless.

settling down for less

Being single is a choice. I think most of us, including you, our dear readers, can get attached is a jiffy, if we choose to. It’s a matter of dropping your expectations and thinking long term isn’t it – procreating for the greater good, making our parents happy, escaping boredom in old age. So many reasons to just go out and settle down, to settle for less...

We could. But why are we not doing it? Why am I not doing it?

My answer to this question came recently, when I saw pictures of my freshly attached friends.

That look on their faces.

Bliss. Just pure bliss of gazing each other in the eyes.

The joy of proclaiming to the world (or your facebook friends, at least) that yes, you’ve finally found someone!

Not caring if everyone thinks you’re a love sick nut case, coz YOU are happy.

That overwhelming feeling that consumes your whole being until it shows on your face even as you walk down the street alone.

I want that. I really do.

But oh wells. Not everyone can get what they want eh?

On to the next match-up!


p/s: in pms mode. Guess that’s self explanatory.

crazy

It seems lately I've been crazy over acoustic songs...
Listen to this sexy swoon-worthy cover of Gnarls Barkley's song by Ray Lamontagne.

God, I love his voice!

hi, my name is…

Chuck. Good Luck Chuck.

I swear it’s true. For those who don’t know, Good Luck Chuck is a movie about this guy who thinks he's cursed, coz after a girl sleeps with him, she finds the true love of her life and gets married.

There were a few instances where I ‘turned down’ a guy (not sleep with him!), and he’ll hook up in no time, and more often than not… they’ll get married!

For example:

Specimen 1: Mr F

Time: Circa early 2007

Synopsis: Met Mr F in late 2006, hit it off really well but we kept things casual and didn’t want to rush things. Around Dec, my ex made a proposal (as in suggestion, not the on-one-bended-knee kind) for us to try again. I faltered for a moment and told Mr F i’m considering the ex. Disappointed, he went off to get married within months.

Specimen 2: The Ex

Time: Still early 2007

Synopsis: After Mr F got hitched, I was kinda upset. Even though Mr F was no longer in the picture, I still couldn’t give my heart completely yet (yeah, I’m fickle like that). I asked for more time, which unfortunately, during that time, he met someone else. They tied the knot about a year later.

Specimen 3: The one who made me go hmmm

Time: Last month

Synopsis: An update on that entry. It turned out all that he was considering us getting together, which explained all that weird actions. To cut things short, I kinda blew him off initially. After thinking things over, I told him that we could give it a shot. But what’s done is done, and I couldn’t take back what I said before. He was in a depressed, suicidal mood just 2 weeks ago, telling me about how it’s hopeless coz he doesn’t think he can find someone now. But just a few days ago on facebook, I saw that his relationship status has changed! It’s someone he knew from childhood apparently.

So there you go. These are just the main ones I highlighted. There were a few others that I dated briefly who also got married to the next girl they dated.

Coincidence?

Of course la! I don’t believe I have such a curse (or gift, depending on how you see it. heh). It’s just uncanny, don’t you think?

november rain

dedicated to the month and the weather...

the video is somehow cut off at the end, but otherwise, enjoy this acoustic cover of the Guns N' Roses song :)

there is no sun and there is no sound

I awake to see no light shining bright through my window.
I awake to feel an empty beating and an empty room.
I awake to hear the sound of the silence with all of its sorrow.
I awake to smell the scent of something I know.
Something is missing. Something is not in its place. Something hurts.
Something, something, that something is you.


http://www.makeliterature.com/reviewing/storyline-7047

which is the way to a woman’s heart?

A colleague had turned up at the office with something he whipped up himself for everyone. It just so happened that I was on medical leave that very day. Fortunately, I still managed to get a taste of his culinary skills via his personal home delivery service that evening. Haha, yea, very sweet colleagues I have.

Anyway, I was relating it to my girlfriends. One of them asked, “Is the guy married or not?”. She seemed rather happy to entertain the idea of having a boyfriend who cooks well and I offered to introduce him to her. It was hilarious how the conversation evolved from there.

The topic then arose - everyone knows the phrase, “The way to man’s heart is through his stomach”. But what about us women? Which is the way to a woman’s heart?

And it seemed that my dear foodie girlfriends were both unanimous in their answers “Stomach!” But I refuse to take their answers seriously cos (1) they were feeling peckish (2) they were feeding their imagination of chef boyfriends serving up dishes of love and (3) we were obviously not taking things seriously.

When I asked them that question, I wasn’t thinking of a guy’s ability to whip up a storm in the kitchen...

Fact is, women are such complex cerebral creatures. What we don’t feel, what we don’t understand, we can never bring ourselves to do. We can lie to that busybody auntie to get her nose out of where it doesn’t belong, we can lie to that irritating friend just so he would stop bugging us but we just can’t lie to our hearts and order them be opened to just any Tom, Dick or Harry (even if he does possess some mean culinary skills).

So what would or could a guy do to win my heart? Later, I started asking myself questions…

How can I fall in love with a man if I can’t see something good in him?
How can I be touched by his actions if I can’t feel his sincerity?
How can I feel secure if I can’t taste his efforts and the fruits they bear?
How can I miss someone whose presence I’ve never smelled?
How can I share a fulfilling relationship with someone whom I can’t hear his thoughts, ideas and dreams?

And then I found my answer.


Of course I’m not representing all women in this, but yes, my take on which would be the way to a woman’s heart?

It would be through her senses.